Why is wishing for kids?


The idea of wishing seems to unsettle lots of adults. Not all. Some love the idea and start to think about their wishes. But many seem rather phased by the idea, almost superstitious that wishing is something they have put behind them.

Kids, on the other hand, seem to see wishing as an entirely natural pursuit and good fun. They want the postcards and seem excited at the idea of filling them in. Younger kids seem to have a wish list to which they add or subtract things as they go. Wishing is part of daily life. So when do people stop wishing.

Some adults have said it is because children's lives are simple and uncomplicated and so it is easy for them to wish. I think that this is an adult's or parent's view - I can remember being a child, it didn't seem that simple at the time and I don't think that children see their lives as easy. The anxieties and pressures are there for them and are very real. Kids these days seem to be under so much time pressure there isn't time to wander around complaining about being bored. More likely to complain about all the things they have to get done.

So I'm not convinced by the 'life is simpler for kids' argument. I think that they may be more hopeful and prepared to wish for more. That their life is ahead of them and they are constantly wondering what they will do next - always growing and developing. As adults maybe we've got more set in our ways and prefer to assume that we have no choices rather than do the things we really wanted - to make those wishes come true. It's one way of staying safe. But is that what you really want?

A few conversations have been around the theme that it's better not to wish or to hope, because then you can't be disappointed. But this may be very dangerous because if there is something you really want it is not going to go away because you don't say it out loud. The risk is that you will still be disappointed because that quiet, hidden, tucked away wish hasn't happened - not speaking it out loud won't make it go away or stop it mattering; but it might stop it happening.

Adults seem wary about owning up to why they don't wish so may have to find out from kids and young people and see if they can help me find out when things change. My hunch is that some people get hurt or disappointed and then put their hopes away to keep them safe - but I shall try and find out more.

posted at 10:27 in /wishes (permanent link)

It's a bit soon to draw conclusions about what people are wishing for; but some themes are emerging.
Some people come to an immediate decision about their wishes - if they do, they tend to assume that everyone will the same as themselves - money, health, home and happiness. Some people try to be smart and make their first wish limitless wishes. This is fine, but actually doesn't really move anything forward - and you can have as many wishes as you like anyway. Once people start to think about their wishes then it becomes more of a challenge - they often need some time to think deeply about what really matters to them - and are not distracted by their first thoughts. Children seem to find wishing a natural thing to do - and do it all the time - lots of sparkly things wished for by younger people. Quite a few adults seem to think that wishing is something they can't do - I'm not sure why this is and will be intrigued to find out at what age/stage people assume that wishing is something they have to give up. Anyway these are just the first thoughts - send me more wishes and I'll be able to think about it some more

posted at 22:13 in /wishes (permanent link)