How did I get here?

I've always been quite good at making the most of the opportunities offered to me, but have never been one of those people who had a clear life plan. Now, having done quite a lot of the things I wanted to do I am wondering what it is I really want, what I really, really want.

So my plan was to wander around Britain asking people what their three wishes for the future would be. Originally I was going to specify the wishes a bit

- one wish for your self
- one wish for the world
- one free wish - whatever you find important

Now, having done some thinking and reading about wishing and how to wish well it seems that the most effective wishing is when you wish for yourself. Because you are the only person you can influence or control. You might wish for things for other people but they would have to want them, and act on those wishes for them to be realised.

This does not mean that you cannot or should not wish well for the world or for other people. On the contrary the best advice seems to be only to wish well for others. Wishing, like everything in the universe, is all about energy and wish ill on others and the risk is that it will bounce back and affect you. So wish well for everyone - but you can make your wishes come true in a way that you may never be able to make another person's wishes come true. They will have to wish their own wishes for them to come true.

A long answer to the question - whose wishes? Wishing for yourself is not selfish - if you know what you want and are on your way to getting it, it is likely that you will be happier and more fun to be with and give others the energy they need to be able to imagine their wishes coming true.

'You're being selfish' is quite often people say when they really mean 'why won't you do what I would like you to do'. Not always - we all need to stand in other people's shoes and understand how our behaviour might be interpreted. But not to the degree that you spend so much time seeing the other person's point of view (and always through your eyes) that you lose sight of yourself. That's a fast track to resentment - probably for all the parties concerned.

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To Kate